You know how when someone leaves a box of food in the office kitchen, it's pretty much for the taking? Sometimes it's leftover pizza from a meeting, sometimes it's a box of cookies their kid was selling. And then sometimes, albeit rarely, it is a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts with pristine chocolate goo spread just so.
Background: I have never eaten a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I gave up doughnuts years ago when I was a teenager and discovered nutrition labels, but I'm woman enough to admit that I've had a couple of them over the years. But the times when I've been desperate enough to have a doughnut (I was truly hungry for breakfast and it was the only thing available), it's never been a Krispy Kreme doughnut. And I've been offered a Krispy Kreme doughnut before, but if I'm not hungry, and I don't need it, I politely (and probably stupidly) decline. I've been mildly curious about trying one, since some people swear it really is that big a deal. But I've never really wanted one. But I've never been pregnant before, either.
More background: There are two kitchens on our floor of this office building. Our group's kitchen is more of a kitchenette with a mini-fridge, crappy microwave, and 12" sink. Way on the other side is a more reasonably sized kitchen with a real fridge, two microwaves, and even a table and chairs. Crazy! I don't usually venture to the big kitchen, because it's a long walk, and I just feel a little bit out of my element. It's still there for our department, but not really our group.
Last background: The polar jug in our kitchenette was broken. I don't know what happened to it, as there was a nice, full jug of water on the base, and the hot water was working, but no cold water would come out. I had to trek all the way down to the big kitchen to fill up my water bottle. I did this several times through the day.
Finally, the stupid story: At around 2:30 or 3:00, I stumbled into the big kitchen to find, gasp, above-mentioned box of 6 chocolate iced doughnuts. They were lined-up, untouched, ready to be evoured. There was a post-it on the box that simply said, "PAID." I figured there must be some mistake! No one would leave these out for the taking. I felt it would be rude to just take one without asking someone first, but I don't really know anyone from that side of the building to ask. And if I just took one, and got busted in the hallway running off with someone else's doughnut, I'd be very embarassed. (I'd probably just point to my enlarged belly and bat my eyelashes, but I don't want it to come to that. Yet.) So I decided that the more polite thing to do would be wait until 4:30 or 5:00 when most people were gone for the day and if there were any left then, steal one and devour it without an iota of guilt.
I went back to my desk and could think of nothing but a perfectly chocolate iced Krispy Kreme doughnut. I think I drooled. I made it to about 4:15, and then casually cruised back to the big kitchen. And the box was in the trash. Right on top. And I peeked inside in case some insane person was cleaning the kitchen and trashed everything, but alas, it was empty. I blew it. And I wanted to cry. But I held it together. I stumbled back to my desk, numb and defeated.
I had never wanted a baked good so badly. What's wrong with me?! The good news is that I ended up buying a teensy bag of Chex Mix (for 85 cents, the theiving bastards) from the vending machine and eating that and my yogurt for an early-evening snack. I was impressed with myself.
Then I went home and ate lots of pizza and brownies.
But my question is this: should I have just taken the doughnut in the first place? Wouldn't anyone else assume that a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts just isn't the same as cold, gross, obviously left-over pizza? Mike said he would have taken a doughnut in a second. Was I wrong? Am I too virtuous? Too considerate? Too dumb?
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