It seems like every day, Mike turns to me and says, "I don't think I've ever seen her be this cute!"
And she is cute. She stands in her exersaucer, and jumps like it's her job, like she's auditioning for a Riverdance tour. She screams and squeals, and she blows loud, wet raspberries, letting spit splatter all her toys. And she smiles. She has many smiles now, including the boy-am-I-happy-to-see-you gummy grin, the I-didn't-know-you-were-watching-me-play bashful smirk, the ahhh-life-is-good-now-what-can-I-play-with? smug smile. That last one is one of our favorites. It's become her signature look. Her lips are pressed together tightly, slightly pursed, but her cheeks and eyes are smiling. She just looks happy. And satisfied.
But I have been finding occasionally, and it's becoming more and more often, that I'm just not as excited about her excitement, or as moved by it, as I have been in the past. Perhaps eventually, your baby's discoveries and developments become almost mundane. Or perhaps I've just been bummed out. I don't enjoy things like I used to, and it's starting to bother me. I think I'm still having a little trouble adjusting to life as a working mother, and Mike's class schedule makes it even harder than it would be. But, at the same time, this week has been the smoothest one yet! We are slowly building a new routine, and getting to bed a little earlier, and we are more prepared for each day ahead of us.
It's a long road ahead.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Milestone memory: chopsticks
Last night, Mike handed Anna a chopstick which she inspected. Then he handed her another, and she held both up, one in each hand. Then Mike held two chopsticks and clicked them together as a percussion instrument. She may have tried banging hers together, but she's not very coordinated. It's hard to say.
But it reminded me of a pleasant memory of her holding a chopstick in her cubby little hand for the first time. It was the first thing she ever held on her own. How odd that before that she couldn't hold anything at all! And how odd that I was so excited about it when she did it! And now she can hold many things.
Oh my goodness, I just thought of something I don't think I ever wrote about here!! Anna is now sleeping in her crib, all by herself. Her first night alone in her crib was Labor Day, September 3 to 4. And she slept for about 10 hours uninterrupted. I missed her. But she seems to sleep well there, and we can put her to bed and continue doing whatever we want in the evening without worrying about waking her up. More nights than not, she is still waking to eat at 4:30 or so. Sure, it'd be nice if she didn't, but that is about 7 hours after her last feeding, and she goes right back to sleep, so whatever. So our routine is: Mike retrieves her from her crib at 4:30 and I nurse her while lying in bed. I am half asleep, and sometimes I doze off. She nurses for a while and then dozes off. We sleep until about 6:00, and then Mike and I have to get up (yuck!) So Mike returns her to her crib, and she sleeps until we wake her to get ready for the sitter, or until 8:00 or so if it's one of our stay-at-home with Lucy days.
But last night, Anna slept most of the night with me. It was nice to have her back in my arms. She hardly ate yesterday at the babysitter's--she is either getting a tooth or she has a cold. So she was extra hungry overnight and she came to be with me at 1:30AM and stayed. We woke around 7:00, and she was smiling at me, just happy to be alive. I am not a morning person, but it sure does make it easier to get the day going when you wake up to a set of cherubic cheeks just barely lit up by the rising sun peeking through the window.
Her smile brings me peace and comfort I have rarely known.
There is nothing like squeezing my baby, and pressing my cheek to hers. Ahhhhhh.
But it reminded me of a pleasant memory of her holding a chopstick in her cubby little hand for the first time. It was the first thing she ever held on her own. How odd that before that she couldn't hold anything at all! And how odd that I was so excited about it when she did it! And now she can hold many things.
Oh my goodness, I just thought of something I don't think I ever wrote about here!! Anna is now sleeping in her crib, all by herself. Her first night alone in her crib was Labor Day, September 3 to 4. And she slept for about 10 hours uninterrupted. I missed her. But she seems to sleep well there, and we can put her to bed and continue doing whatever we want in the evening without worrying about waking her up. More nights than not, she is still waking to eat at 4:30 or so. Sure, it'd be nice if she didn't, but that is about 7 hours after her last feeding, and she goes right back to sleep, so whatever. So our routine is: Mike retrieves her from her crib at 4:30 and I nurse her while lying in bed. I am half asleep, and sometimes I doze off. She nurses for a while and then dozes off. We sleep until about 6:00, and then Mike and I have to get up (yuck!) So Mike returns her to her crib, and she sleeps until we wake her to get ready for the sitter, or until 8:00 or so if it's one of our stay-at-home with Lucy days.
But last night, Anna slept most of the night with me. It was nice to have her back in my arms. She hardly ate yesterday at the babysitter's--she is either getting a tooth or she has a cold. So she was extra hungry overnight and she came to be with me at 1:30AM and stayed. We woke around 7:00, and she was smiling at me, just happy to be alive. I am not a morning person, but it sure does make it easier to get the day going when you wake up to a set of cherubic cheeks just barely lit up by the rising sun peeking through the window.
Her smile brings me peace and comfort I have rarely known.There is nothing like squeezing my baby, and pressing my cheek to hers. Ahhhhhh.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Too worn out to come up with a clever title
Wow. I let a month and a half pass without writing a thing about Anna. I will forget all of the sweet things she's done and learned, and all of the sweet things she has already grown out of, and therefore will never do again.
She'll be 7 months old later this week. She's such a big girl, sitting up completely on her own, and playing happily with real toys. She is also such a perfect little baby though, as she doesn't try to move. Ever. She just sits there. Mike's oldest brother did this, and my oldest sister did this, so I'm not surprised or worried. I'm relieved. I still walk away from her on the changing table (gasp!) and I still let her nap on our bed or on the couch as long as the ottoman is pulled up. She can roll, but she usually doesn't choose to, and she has never rolled over repeatedly in order to get to something. I feel entirely confident that she won't roll off anything. I'm sure this confidence will be shattered and embarassing the moment she rolls off something. Oh well.
She hates solid food. Or she hates being fed solid food. I don't know if it's the taste, or the texture, or the spoon, or the bib. She'll good-naturedly let you shove the spoon in her mouth a couple of times, but then she gets all "wtf?" and pouts. I hate to say that she cries, but she whimpers, and moans, and looks at me with these sad, depserate eyes, as if to say, "Puh-lease don't make me do this, Mommy." So I don't. Perhaps I'm a sucker, or perhaps I'm a confident, intuitive Mommy. But I won't make her do it, and the research overwhelmingly supports my decision. Now I just have to get her doctors and the rest of the world on board with me.
These are the things I'll want to remember:
She'll be 7 months old later this week. She's such a big girl, sitting up completely on her own, and playing happily with real toys. She is also such a perfect little baby though, as she doesn't try to move. Ever. She just sits there. Mike's oldest brother did this, and my oldest sister did this, so I'm not surprised or worried. I'm relieved. I still walk away from her on the changing table (gasp!) and I still let her nap on our bed or on the couch as long as the ottoman is pulled up. She can roll, but she usually doesn't choose to, and she has never rolled over repeatedly in order to get to something. I feel entirely confident that she won't roll off anything. I'm sure this confidence will be shattered and embarassing the moment she rolls off something. Oh well.
She hates solid food. Or she hates being fed solid food. I don't know if it's the taste, or the texture, or the spoon, or the bib. She'll good-naturedly let you shove the spoon in her mouth a couple of times, but then she gets all "wtf?" and pouts. I hate to say that she cries, but she whimpers, and moans, and looks at me with these sad, depserate eyes, as if to say, "Puh-lease don't make me do this, Mommy." So I don't. Perhaps I'm a sucker, or perhaps I'm a confident, intuitive Mommy. But I won't make her do it, and the research overwhelmingly supports my decision. Now I just have to get her doctors and the rest of the world on board with me.
These are the things I'll want to remember:
- she is just learning to find the humor in blowing motorcycle sounds on her tummy.
- she is just starting to lay her head on my shoulder when I hold her upright. I was starting to think that she would never melt into me--from the time she had even minimal neck strength, she looked behind me alertly any time I held her up. And before that, she was too weak to lay her head on me. Her head just kind of fell down onto her shoulders and she couldn't really squeeze into me like she needed me. But now... oh, now. She holds on, and snuggles, and rubs her cheeks on my shoulder, and I can feel her exhale with comfort and just melt.
- she is suddenly easily startled. She doesn't like sudden noise or surprises, and the Jack-in-the-Box elicits anything from a stuck out lower lip and whimpering to tears streaming down her face and screaming. It would be sad if it weren't so darned precious.
I'm starting to see some personality. I wonder if she'll be a very timid little girl? That'd be a surprise to me, given Mike's and my dispositions, but it'd be a welcome surprise. No, I would not mind having a daughter who loves me to death and clings to me and would rather be with me than anyone else in the whole wide world. Sure, it would come with its own anxieties and I'd constantly be pushing her to try something new and hang out with other people, but I love the idea of a cuddly little bug who wants to sit in my lap and be snuggled all the time. Ahh.