Irish Twins

Reflecting

It's weird having two kids. It makes me feel older than having one kid. But it's nice. Both kids know that they're not the center of the Universe. And both kids have one more person in their lives who will forever and ever love them unconditionally.

My goodness, is Anna an amazing big sister. She protects Emmy. She calls out, "It's okay, Emmy! I know, Emmy, shhhh, shhhh..." when she hears Emmy through the monitor waking from a nap. She brings her toys, and she takes away toys that aren't safe for her ("No, Emmy! No markers! Not for babies!") And sometimes she takes away toys that are perfectly safe but are also perfectly appealing to two-year-olds who miss being little babies. But that's okay. When I give her the Look, she gives the toy back. Usually.

I am definitely the Looking kind of parent. I have a Look for everything. The give.that.back Look. The did.you.just.push.me/Emmy/Daddy? Look. The do.not.move.another.inch.with.that.10-inch.chef's.knife Look. And most of my Looks work. And I think it's because I also have Looks she can love. I have a you.are.a.very,very,very.good.sister Look (when I catch her playing peekaboo with an otherwise fussy Emmy.) I have a my.kid.is.brilliant Look (when she reads herself The Little Engine that Could, "Puff, puff, chug, chug, ding dong, ding dong.") I have a could.you.be.any.cuter?! Look (when she daintily applies deodorant to both armpits and places the cap back ever so carefully.)

And she imitates these Looks. She has a Mad Face. And an Aren't I Cute? Face. And a Mommy!!!!! Daddy Just Said No to Something You Always Let Me Do! Face. That one's priceless. Her mouth hangs open, and her eyes get very wide, and you expect a 14 year-old's gum snapping, "This is todully un-faaaair!" to come out.

Speaking of this. I have been worrying lately. See, I use Looks for a lot of my parenting, and I think I can't expect it to work forever. I have been so careful to be positive towards her, and to nurture her independence, and to help her to believe that she is a good girl. A competent girl. And I am starting to think that she feels boundless. She thinks there is nothing she can't do--like adding the spices from the little jars to whatever I'm cooking. And running the mixer while we make cookies. And changing Emmy's diaper. And carrying full cups of steaming hot coffee to me. And walking all by herself through the parking lot into the grocery store. And cleaning the toilet. She wants so badly to be helpful, and to do everything Mommy does. And she is so, so, so good. But more and more often, she doesn't accept when I give a Look, or when I say, "no." Or, as is happening sadly often, when I yell, "Anna! I said NO! That is DANGEROUS!" She still doesn't stop.

So I'm afraid that I allowed her to do too much--that I should have made her believe that only adults add spices to food. And that mixers are NEVER to be touched. And that only Mommy changes Emmy's diaper. And that grown-ups' cups are too heavy to hold, whether there is something hot or cold in them. And that she cannot walk anywhere EVER without holding my hand. But what a sad life that sounds like. And, of course, the toilet brush and bottle of toilet bowl cleaner should be locked in a cabinet out of her reach (though to be fair to me, it IS a childproof bottle, and she does know not to touch it.)

And I guess I'm hoping that all two-year-olds feel boundless, and all of them want to do everything they see, whether they have been made to feel competent or not. And I can hope that she really IS competent.

But she's starting to scare me.

Emmy: second tooth

Because I don't have a baby book (and wouldn't write in it even if I did): let the record show that Emmy's second tooth is very clearly through the gum as of today, 7/1/2008. Now, we could see it right under the gum but it wasn't technically cut as of 6/28/2008 AM. So somewhere in there she got a tooth. I can't recall the last time I checked before this morning. Oh well.

Oops, I did it again

Wow. 7 months have gone by.

Emmy cut her first tooth today. Lower left front tooth.

She is wickedly cute.

One is the loneliest number

It's been a year (almost to the day!) since I last posted. It had become a job. And I had enough jobs.

But my goodness, I love reading about Anna's first months. So I don't want to let this opportunity pass.


Welcome to the world our second daughter, Emelia Grace! She was born on Monday, October 29, 2007 at 1:15PM, weighing 6 lb. and 4 oz. and measuring 21 inches.

Now our family is complete. For now, anyhow.

I totally hate that I am forever finding myself comparing Emmy to Anna. And people are forever asking me to compare them. Oh well. I guess I (and Emmy!) better get used to it. But she is truly wonderful. She is almost 4 weeks old, and I think she will smile soon! She is another very good baby, and I'm not sure what we did to deserve two children with such pleasant, easy temperaments.

I regret that I didn't write about the last year of Anna's life. She is just such an incredibly amazing person. She is so smart it makes me cringe. I hope that I'm not imagining that she's brilliant. But she says words I didn't know she knew every day, and she counts her toys when I'm not looking, and she tries to sing the alphabet, and I know that some other kids know the whole alphabet at 18 months, but... I don't know. She is just smarter than most kids. I know it. I can't think of any examples right now, but I will come up with an anecdote soon, and I will record it for posterity.

Oh, before I sign off, I think Emmy's losing her hair on the crown of her head. Just like Anna. (Sorry, I couldn't help it.) And this disappoints me. Oh, and her hair is curlier than Anna's. (Oops, I did it again.) And it's lighter than Anna's. (Sue me.) Emmy might be a blonde as a child. Her eyelashes and eyebrows are practically invisibly pale.

She can pull herself up. And crawl. And eat. She just doesn't want to.

She can be motivated.

Stupid blogger won't let me upload pictures. Again. Sigh.

She takes it like such a champ.

After much agony, we decided to get Anna a flu vaccine. I won't go into why it was a big decision--I find that people either say, "Of course you should!" or "Those are stupid and don't work and they have mercury and they're going to give her autism and..." At any rate, with the helpful opinions of Mike's colleagues and others, we went for it.

And this morning she got it, which we were really scared about. We truly fear that it will make her not feel well for some time, and I never look forward to her getting a shot.

And she didn't even cry. Nor wince. Nor act like anything even remotely interesting was happening.

Oh, and she's officially 8 months old. She didn't do anything exciting to commemorate this birthday. She seems to be more or less over her cold. I, on the other hand, am not. I have a productive cough indicating that I am near the end of the misery. "Productive cough" is such a nice way of saying that I'm spewing green chunks of bile from my lungs.

Damn, she's fine!

On Friday, I weighed what I weighed before I got pregnant.

On Saturday, I wore my pre-pregnancy jeans.

On Sunday, I never showered or changed my underwear.

7 months old

In 6 days, Anna will be 8 months old.

But Anna being 7 months old has been so much fun, and so significant, I must tell you all about it.

On October 8, her 7-month birthday, she had several milestones. It was a gorgeous weekend, and Mike repaired some windows on the outside of the house and I planted all of my crocus bulbs. Anna sat on a blanket in the grass, and she actually got herself dirty playing! She scooted as close as she could to the edge of the blanket, and then pulled it up into her lap so she could get at the cool grass and mud. She happily ripped off blades of grass for what seemed like an eternity. It was a nice family day.

On that day, we also went to the grocery store, and she sat in the baby section of the cart. It was slightly nervewracking for me, as she looked so teensy and vulnerable in there. The safety strap was up under her armpits instead of around her belly, so she just kind of dangled among our bananas and broccoli. I think she liked it.

Then, that night, she sat up in the bathtub. We used the bath pillow of course, but let her sit on it and we can pour water right over her whole head and she doesn't mind at all! And she plays with her toys in the tub. It's much more fun this way. (Except now I have the agonizing task of keeping her from lunging for the drain. It is apparently a fascinating drain. Thankfully, the little white hair catcher sufficiently camouflages the spot for now.)

And finally, after all her milestones of the day, after her bath, we caught the little bugger trying to stand. up. in. her. crib! She doesn't even try to sit up on her own (still doesn't at almost 8 months!), but she planted both little feet against the vertical rails, and grabbed the top horizontal rail, and she grunted and tugged and puuuuulllllled, and her little butt was almost 6 inches off the mattress! Soon she busted us watching her and laughing, so she broke into her I-didn't-know-you-were-watching-me smile, and she shook her little arms with excitement. (Lest I forget someday, when Anna is excited, she pounds her arms up and down and up and down in unison, as if she were banging her knife and spoon on a table, chanting, "We want food! We want food!")

So it was a big birthday! And the month just kept getting better. And yuckier.

She had her first cold. It wasn't actually all that terrible, but I didn't expect to be so saddened by her pathetic state. She just had snot everywhere, and she sneezed, and she was extra needy, and I just wanted her to be able to feel better. But she was not unbearable. But she hated having her nose suctioned. But I was such a baby about this cold! I was so scared that she wouldn't be able to breathe well that I kept her in bed with us the first night. But some other moms had suggested that sleeping with us would keep her warm and comfortable, and we could keep her head raised (we all slept on a wall of pillows not unlike Big Bird's nest), and she could nurse often which is supposedly the best thing for a cold. It's funny how memories fade so quickly--I'm now remembering that she had some trouble eating for a very long periods, and she nursed so often, and the top of my breasts would be covered in snot... in hindsight, it wasn't so bad. But at the time, I think it was upsetting.

And also in month 7, she had (well, has) her second cold. Sigh. But again, she's in good spirits (perhaps better than the first time around) and this time the nasal aspirator (aka booger bulb) doesn't piss her off to no end.

And now for the better things in this month: On October 9, Anna swung in a real swing at the park.

On October 25, Anna waved bye-bye to me. It was truly amazing. We have been really practicing that, and making a big production of bye-byes for some time. A few nights before the first real wave, she had half waved, or just raised her arm, to say bye-bye to friends who'd come over for dinner. We weren't sure if it was a real wave, but on the 25th, she did it. There was no mistaking it. I was coming in to work, and Mike was picking her up. We brought her upstairs to see some of my coworkers, and she was passed around for a few minutes. Then, as Mike and she were about to leave, my boss and others said "Bye bye!" to Anna, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her little arm go up and down... and I gasped, "Did she just wave?" and they all said, "yeah" as if it were no big deal! And I turned to her and waved, and said, "Bye bye Anna, bye bye!" And she smiled from ear to ear and sweetly waved back. And my heart melted.

She has since been waving bye-bye more predictably, and she always smiles so big when she does it, like she's really proud of herself. Except it just now occurs to me that I'm always grinning like an idiot when I try to get her to do it, so perhaps she thinks smiling is part of the the wave. But that's okay with me.

I think that Mike thought I was making a bigger deal of it than it was, but maybe Daddies are just too cool to get visibly excited about these things. He's happier when she stares at Jerry playing guitar on the TV--and that's not an intellectual leap, I think she's just wondering what's up with the stoned guy. But I saw her waving as her first true communication. See, babies can communicate from the beginning, in that they can show what they want or need, but they are actual physical signs of what they want or need. She shows excitement when she sees me lift my shirt (well, can you blame her?!), but that's because she is excited. She smiles when she sees something she likes, but that's because she's actually happy, she's not doing it to show me she's happy. Babies can't fake smiles to try to convince someone they're happy. She turns her head when she doesn't want something, but that's because she doesn't want any more of the orange goop shoved into her mouth. She's not saying, "No more, please." She is just instinctively turning away. But waving bye-bye has no practical meaning or effect. It's an ambiguous symbol that communicates an agreed upon idea (and this just happens to be the definition of a word!) So maybe she doesn't really know that when we wave bye-bye that we're going to be apart for a while (seeing as Mike and I play Bye-Bye Anna when we go upstairs and downstairs), but she knows that we just do it for fun, and to show each other that we love each other.

And she can now lift her arms to show me that she'd like to be picked up. I'm torn on this one. Is lifting her arms just accomplishing the physical task of being easier to pick up (and therefore it has no communicative meaning), or is she showing me that she wants to be picked up (and therefore using an ambiguous symbol)?? (Well, it's certainly not totally ambiguous. It's kind of like an onomatopoeic word (see here)--it sort of becomes a symbol even though it has obvious residual real meaning.) For some time now, she has occasionally reached for me, and that I see as a plain physical desire on her part. She's not trying to tell anyone anything, she's just trying to get into my arms. But she's doing that more and more now, and at some point, I have to believe that she's actually saying, "I like you, Mommy."

Speaking of this reaching, I know that I have seen her absolutely, positively reach for her daddy once. I'm not sure if she's done it other times that were less clear. But even when she did it clearly, he denied it. I don't know if she reaches for him when it's just someone else and him, because if I'm present she just reaches for me. It's becoming sad for me--she loves Mike so much, and it's very apparent when he comes home at night. She shrieks and giggles and couldn't be happier to see him. But she is definitely becoming mommy-centric. It's to be expected at this age, but it makes me feel guilty. (And good.) (But more guilty.)

Further, within the past week she has started lunging into my lap, trying to actually crawl to me for holding and cuddling. She has crawled a total of about 6 inches in her lifetime (cumulatively, I mean, not all at once), but she sure is trying when she wants in my lap. She's pretty good at going from sitting within a foot of me to lying with her upper half on my legs, her little butt and legs flailing, wanting to get closer. That's nice. (Interestingly, Lucy has also started doing this, even though she's 2 months younger. And Lucy is a great crawler, so she can make it into my lap with no problem. I think Anna is actually starting to feel jealousy, and it's been quite a motivator! I am becoming more convinced every day that Anna is trying to accomplish new things because she sees Lucy do them. As an example, Anna now goes from sitting to kneeling (!) so that she can reach into the toy basket.)

And finally, what I see as Anna's next major cognitive stride: she is suddenly very into handing you things. She holds a toy out for you to take, and you take it, and she reaches to take it back, and you give it back, and she looks at it for a moment, and then she offers it to you. And she is so happy to just give it back and forth! So I've made an elaborate game of "May I have it, please?" and "Thank you!" and "Would you like it?" and "You're welcome!" And she thinks it is great fun.

Oh, and before I forget, she is very hot and cold about baby food. Sometimes she devours it (especially if her Grandpa Dunn gives it--weird.) Sometimes she turns up her nose. But she usually likes whatever I'm eating. She has had bits of carrot from my chicken soup; butternut squash, leek, and garlic soup (yum!); honeydew; watermelon; and squash risotto with bacon and cheese. She absolutely loved the risotto but I worried with all that cheese in it. (Relax!!! I didn't give her any bacon. Even though bacon tastes good!) I am going to make her some more plain risotto this weekend and see how it goes over. She can sort of maybe hold her sippy cup. She has trouble tilting it up to drink, but she did it once and luckily, we got it on video!

So, in all, she's quite a baby, don't you think??

Happy Halloween. Sort of.

For Anna's first Halloween, I dressed up as a frazzled new mommy. I got my hair nice and frizzy, put it in a ponytail, and then rubbed curdled milk spit-up on the shoulder of my tshirt. For that extra little touch, I put some boogers on my stretch pants.

Anna was dressed up as a baby with a cold, complete with snot running from nostrils to chin, and I even left her pajamas on all day long so they could get extra crusty by trick-or-treat time.

But Mike got to show her off and give out goodies (pretzels, ritz cracker sandwiches or whole grain teddy grahams--we're not going to contribute to rotting teeth or obesity around here) to all the neighborhood kids while I worked.

I feel kind of guilty. What should I write in her baby book? My friend at work took her baby to Target in his little lion costume with black paint on his nose, and she had professional photos done with him leaning on a big orange BOO! I can't decide if she's really got it all figured out or if she's just a freak of nature. I hope Anna someday appreciates our laissez-faire approach to life.