So last night, I finally was able to feel my child for the first time!
We were in our normal positions on the couch, me on the left, Subby to my right laying on her back with her head on pillows and her legs stretched out over my lap. West Wing was on and we were a few episodes behind so we were in some catch up mode to get to the latest episode, which we never made it to anyway. When Subby hit pause and said baby is really moving right now, so she placed my hand on her belly in the best place to feel it and applied pressure with her hand.
After about 15 seconds I felt a bump on the palm of hand. I looked shocked, dumbfounded, curious and unfulfilled all at the same time. When Subby asked me if I felt that I said, "yes, was that you or the baby?" Well I don't know how she would be able to make that kind of movement, so it must have been the baby. I don't think I gave the reaction I was expecting to give or that Subby was expecting to get, but I wanted more.
So after the baby slept for a little (how do I know this, well that is Subby said nonchalantly), maybe an hour or so, she grabbed my hand again and this time it was definite! I felt a thud on my ring finger and Subby said the is exactly where I felt it. Then another one right after that on the palm of my hand again.
It was a great moment for the both of us and I don't know if I was dreaming it last night or if I felt the baby again while I slept with my hand on Subby's belly, but now I feel really connected to our baby.
It is a wonderful feeling...And now today I get to take it in and be happy knowing that I finally got to feel my child!
2 comments:
Mike, I'm rally happy for you. It's an exciting time for both of you - it brings back memories of how dad and I felt when we were in your shoes. Anyway, grasp the moment and never let it go.
What Mike fails to mention is that he also got scared last night, probably for the first time since this all began in July. (At least it's the first time he admitted to being scared.)
See, since I've been sick, I've been acting a lot more like a proper pregnant woman (crying, whining, and peeing my pants), and I cried about feeling sick and being stressed out that we were actually going to have a baby, and we wouldn't have enough time or money for a baby, and it was all too overwhelming.
I had no idea this bothered him until he told me later in the night that I was supposed to be the strong one, and we're doing this for ME (uh, whatever!), and I'm not allowed to be scared. And that I scared the shit out of him.
But I think all was forgiven since he finally felt his baby.
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