Free to good home

I am fed up.

One cat is a runaway. He hasn't come home, and perhaps he never will. Late last week I reached the anger stage of the grieving process, as I walked through the neighborhood thinking "Damned cat. Stupid f*@king cat." Now I'm in the apathy stage, if there is such a thing.

The two remaining cats are making me absolutely insane. Is it just that I don't love them because I have a child so much more worthy of my love? Is it that they've become monsters overnight? Or is it a little bit of both? They have become monsters, for sure, but perhaps that's because they get less love and attention. Perhaps they miss Jameson. But I'm going to kill them.

Cole won't get out from under my feet. He is going to trip me and send me barreling down the stairs with Anna in my arms and kill us both.

The other morning, Anna and I had to run Daddy to work, and then I had to run back home and eat breakfast in the 5 minutes before Jessie and Carl were coming to pick me up. But Anna threw up all over herself on the way to Daddy's work. So I had to clean and change her when I got back, so I was really in a hurry... but what's waiting for me on the basement steps? Cat puke. And some in the upstairs hallway. And some in the fringe of the rug in the nursery.

And then there's the pacifiers. Sigh. Every morning since we introduced the pacifiers, I've found them in random spots on the floor downstairs. So one day I boiled all of them to sterilize, and I put them all on the dining room table. And the next morning, they were all on the floor. So that night, I put them on the table again. And the next morning, the floor again. The stupid cats are climbing my dining room table (gah!) and batting them all over the house! They are SO not allowed on the table. And they know this. They have never knocked things off the table to play with before. (As an aside, for someone with cats who doesn't plan on having children, pacifiers are apparently an excellent cat toy! I think they sell 2-packs at the dollar store.) So perhaps pacifiers are just irresistible toys, or perhaps they actually understand that the pacifiers belong to the baby, and so they are acting out. But it pisses me off.

But I was even much, much more pissed when I saw what they are doing to the pacifiers. See for yourself.

It's hard to capture in a photo, but every single one of them has a dozen or so holes in the nipple. They are biting them and ruining them!! Not only are the nipples all now filthy, but you can't use a ripped pacifier as it poses a real choking hazard.

For some strange reason, they haven't bitten the latex pacifier, only the silicone ones. Maybe they just haven't found the latex one, or maybe they don't like latex. But we have exactly one pacifier left to keep her happy.

The cats also play with her little gym toy, which irritates me because they're making it dirty and germy, but who can blame them?? Look how much fun it is! She absolutely loves this thing, and she watches the light-up star on top of it very intently. And really, I can't blame the cats because things that jingle and squeak hang from bars, and, well, honestly, PetSmart should just start carrying these things! Why didn't I think of this years ago?

But that's enough of this feel-good isn't-my-daughter-the-most-beautiful-creature-ever crap. It's official. I hate my cats.